Confessions

Given myself a moment to think I feel what I am going to put is absolutly neceserry before I move on with my life.

I was regularly fueled by my ego because as a child I lacked any real talent. I admired others but was involved with activities that were not practical at all. I suppose I wanted to be like the kids at school or my best friend at the time. I was not cool at school I had a crush on several girls over a period of several years during high school. Those girls where of a different group, I failed to bring them in because of my different and somewhat odd atittude.

Though I hold no regrets those people where certainly not the group I would have wanted to be apart off. Looking back it kinda makes sense why it never worked out for me when trying to become part of the sheeps.

The point is to this day I feel I have to prove something to make up the somewhat downfalls I may have experianced in the past.

A relationship that often left me confused about my own sense of emotion and future. A confidence issue I experiance all through my adolesence. Trouble fitting in as I had a strange sense of humour. Often finding it difficult to mix with crowds these days unless they are athletic or knowledgeable in some sort of subject of interest.

I allow my ego to push me because I seek a destiny in life. Some what delusional I don't think my ego is all that bad I just feel I become to attached to the future I plant in my head. Pursuing a difficult career involving writing, parkour, gymnastics and martial arts.

Though I enjoy doing it all. Though I am putting aside what I potray as utter BULLSHIT as it has not helped me at all. I believe in myself though can grow anxious at times when trying new things partly due to injuries I sustained in the past. I am putting it aside cause I accept the consequences of my actions.

It is a dangerous sport and way of life but even falling has its benefits. I put aside the fact my former girlfriend does not love me and has long moved on. That does not make me in anyway a failure nor does it mean I have anything to prove to anyone.

I say this now. . .

I have nothing to prove nor offer. I am Daniel Pike and I do what I do simply because I enjoy it. I accept that at times it can be fustrating but no doubt do I realise every part was all and is a learning experiance. What little visions crop up in my head or ego projected thoughts are gone. Fuck em I am not bothered.

I just want to do Parkour and push myself for all the right reasons. . I for one moment don't cast aside the possibility of injury I know I can get hurt but again it is just about the experiance. I can reduce the injury by being confident and training hard and well.

My vision of the future never happened like I though it would it doesnt matter something else happened instead and it was all the more greater. This is my life and I love it. Forget the future, forget the inspiration towards others. Forget this idea of it having any impact.

If all kicks of then cool never doubt the possibility of a prominant future. Nevertheless remain open to whatever.

This is my life, my experiance, my passion. This what it is all about . . So let just see what is in store because I just can't FUCKING wait to get out there and find new things about the world and me . .

Here I live a life without boundries, limitations, no fear or doubt I live a life of freedom, of passion and of inspiration. It was all worth the experiance no doubt

Tired

I'm sick and tired with the finding logic in everything approach. I try and do things by the book so I do a good job of it. Annoyed at myself for over analysing everything. Tired of trying to make sense of it all or be the best.

I say fuck it, I choose not to make sense of anything anymore ans just see what comes of it. I choose not to do something with a set expectation.

I just don't wanna be held back I think anything is possible and I am my own key to my success. It is not all that complicated so I do not see why I should discuss this further when I know as of now what I have to do. .

Hidden potential

I am certain we all have an inner strength. A person within us that is stronger than we could ever imagine. Confidence far beyond what I could imagine.

I look myself in the mirror and I see deep within my pupils this paticular strength look to me. He is dettached and has a main focus. He aspires to do great things. There are no limits for this person, there is not a great deal of emotion or thought required.

No doubts, no dwelling or any concept of ego. This person I see when I look in the mirror and 40% of my waking day do I become this person. The more spontaneous I act the more of the person I become.

I feel I have less to say and little to dwell upon. At ease and open minded I feel reassured at my state of being. I understand my talent and strength but no it is not everything and it is not to be misused. It is to purse my every growing path of curisoisty not for egotistic matters.

So I guess I say to myself I am ready to become this person I have felt myself grow into. Ready to step into the realm of this mysterious dimension. Away from the previous life I feel myself change.

This was all a choice and it is what I want. I feel I am ready . .

What next

After months of training and jumping about I decided today about 3 hours ago that I will push myself to the absolute limit. I wanna know what I can achieve from all this I accept the possible dangers and injuries that I may expriance but it don't matter to me I just wanna know how far I can go.

I wanna do well it is my dream. .

I know what I want :)