I had to say this before it left my mind. The last few nights have been different, similar training and progress. Better flexibility in the hips higher kicks. Sad in some form I do have the tendancy to look back, as strong as I have become it still creeps upon me.
I do miss her I won't deny it yet I try everything to stay strong. I miss holding her and I miss the compaionship of another human being. A pure connection. Yet I am thinking something else. My inner guide or drive within me telling me to pursue something different. This absense is a learning curve and has certainly taught me well. If I could get it all back it would show that I have learnt nothing at all and there is no chance I can achieve anything.
It is a sad reality when I look at it like that but yet feels neceserry. To have the will to continue on my passion in the upmost confidence gives me inspiration to continue on with all this. The truth being I just couldn't have continued on my path with her in my life. I had to let go and move on to what I wanted. I'm slowly learning that now and I am trying to come to terms with that.
So I can say as many farewells as I like I don't feel the impact she had on me will ever escape me for it was one influance I will never forget. I will move on though and I will be strong because it is what I want.
Living backwards will only hold me back. Admiring the present and aiming towards the unknown certainly has its awards.
I am curious to know how far I can take all this and see how far I am willing to push myself.
I just need to repeat this to myself to help move on.
"Looking backwards will not help you move forward, you know yourself to make the right choices embrace the experiance and take the good things with you into the future"
No comments:
Post a Comment